Prohibited Acts When Associated With the Crown
by Johanna-002
Summary: People get a little carried away, and that's okay, but when you're associated with the crown, there are 40 things that you can never do. Crackfic. It's your own fault if you take this too seriosuly. Much laughs & Happy reading! R&R!


**Title:** Prohibited Acts When Associated With the Crown

**Summary:** People get a little carried away, and that's okay, but when you're associated with the crown, there are 40 things that you can never do.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Princess Diaries or Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement or any of its characters, they belong to Meg Cabot. I do however own my writing, please don't steal-Johanna-002©

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_A/N: Hi, readers. Here's crackfic for y'all. I did not get much feedback on my last crackfic and I was a little disappointed, but with the little I got they thoroughly enjoyed it so I was like "Hey! Why deprive them of silliness!" _

1. Thou shalt not call Joseph "Captain Baldie"

2. Thou shalt not call Joseph "Joey" unless thou name is Amelia

3. Thou shalt not bitch-slap Lana Thomas whilst she torments Amelia.

4. Thou shalt not let Andrew Jacoby do the proper thing

5. Thou shalt not steal Clarisse's chocolate

6. Thou shalt not steal Shade's signature sunglasses.

7. Thou shalt not encourage Ms. Gupta to converse with Her Majesty

8. Thou shalt not tell Mia and Lily to beat box

9. Thou shalt also not tell the above mentioned to sing "Ice Ice Baby."

10. Thou shalt not fill Clarisse's desk with adorable kittens, no matter how much thou is tempted

11. Thou shalt not push Baron and Baroness von Troken down a hill

12. Thou shalt not strip Joseph's shirt off of his body, despite the hormones telling thou to do so

13. Thou shalt not toss Viscount Marbey into the ocean whilst chanting, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming!"

14. Thou shalt not hit Elsie Pentworth with a shovel whilst yelling, "Die, bitch, die!" Such behavior will be violated.

15 Thou shalt not allow Lord Nicholas to purchase birth control. Such behavior is prohibited.

16. Thou shalt not hire a young child to runneth over Viscount Marbey with a three wheeler, whilst humming Viscount Marbey got run over by a three wheeler to the tune of "Grandma got Run Over By A Reindeer."

18. Thou shalt not give Clarisse aspirin. Thou shalt, however, give her fertility treatment

19. Thou shalt not admit Clarisse and Rupert had a happy and wonderful marriage.

20. Thou shalt not make Rupert a wonderful man. It ruins our already predetermined minds.

21. Thou shalt not kill Prince Jacques Dube and bury him in a pet cemetery. This displeases Stephen King

22. Thou shalt not forbid Joseph and Clarisse from making out while they are alone at any place, at any time

23. Thou shalt not tell Charlotte that she is a fabulous liar

24. Thou shalt not mention harming the Crown in Joseph's presence

25. Thou shalt not laugh when Lily dies her hair blonde

26. Thou shalt not force Lily to wear pink

27. Thou shalt not interrupt Clarisse and Joseph dancing. This is forbidden at all costs.

28. Thou shalt not strike Lionel with a sledgehammer

29. Thou shalt not tempt Shades and Joseph to sing "We rollin', they hatin'…" when they are driving the limo

30. Thou shalt not put an adorable puppy in Joseph's pocket

31. Thou shalt not make Lionel wear red and lock him in a pen with a charging bull.

32. Thou shalt not slap The Viscount with a large trout

33. Thou shalt not force the palace staff to participate in square dancing.

34. Thou shalt not force Mia and Lily to communicate using the art of the fan

35. Thou shalt not under any circumstances, ever, try to flirt with Clarisse, unless thou name is Joseph

36. Thou shalt never discourage Joseph's sexual fantasies staring Clarisse

37. Thou shalt never point out that Clarisse and Joseph are playing footsies

38. Thou shalt never believe the rejection scene ever happened

39. Thou shalt never interrupt Clarisse and Joseph's happy, fluffy life together

40. Thou shalt never neglect to wed Clarisse and Joseph


End file.
